“You are in great shape”. I hear this quite often. The puzzle is what is causing the dizziness, confusion at times, drunk feeling constantly, syncope (passing out). Some specialists get excited when they see my test results. I don’t have any other existing health issues, so there isn’t anything that could be part of another ailment. So many tests. So many negative results. So many trials of medications. I now understand the term Practicing Medicine. Frustration is something I have to willfully keep at bay daily as not having a true diagnosis and trying to “live” with this isn’t my first or second choice, let me tell you.
The good news. I am healthy! At least for a guy in his mid forties. Just a couple questions. Why do I pass out? Why do I feel drunk all the flippin time? Why am I not able to finish my thoughts or sentences some days? Thanks Andie for helping me with that. Why do I get hit with sudden extreme dizzy spells and have to grab something to steady myself? Why does my heart rate jump to a hundred and eighty eight beats per minute while sitting down doing nothing? Why does my heart rate drop into the high forties while sitting doing nothing? Why did I end up having constant burning sensation in my legs? Why do I shake some days like I have Parkinson’s? Why am I confused and don’t know simple things or places some times?
I’ve been called a medical mystery. I’ve had specialists excited, thinking they knew what I had and were going to solve this. Only to come to the same conclusion as others in the past. On to the next test or tests. On to the next specialist. On to the next medicine.
Hurry up and wait. Did you know the medical field can take forever to get you in to see them? It could be weeks or even months. Maybe months just to see them for the consultation. We get our hopes up and wait more months to see them for the tests. Only to be told the same old things. This is where having a faith in God truly comes in handy. I don’t know how people without a faith can go through life with the curveballs we are thrown. It does help knowing that in the end, God’s got this. That’s what I always say, God’s got this. I have always wanted results right away. Hurry up, let’s go. As I was taught years ago through my work “Act Now, Do It Today, Get Results”. I keep reminding myself this may be part of my learning to slow down. I’m not a big fan. Just saying.
“You’re a unicorn”, one doctor told me. I had to inform them that most men do not want to be called a unicorn. I hate glitter, pixie dust and the like. Just to be clear. I’ve been told it may be years, five or ten, before doctors are able to positively get test results on my illness.
I keep hoping and praying that this will end soon and I will be able to get back to my abnormal life. When I’m having a pretty good day or days, I start to immediately think that I can live feeling drunk and maybe I can go back to work. Of course, this only lasts for the day or few before reality knocks me back with a crappy day or week or whatever.
I have to practice what I’ve always preached to our kids – Chin up, chest out. Keep going and it will get better. You’ve got this. You can do it, I know it! It will get better.
I believe this and stand by it. I will always stay positive. Chin up and chest out. Trust in God. He’s got this. Now if only I could be a Phoenix instead of a unicorn…or an albatross?